My inner, independent feminist is ashamed to admit that I did google this recently. I did this because upon reading the little that's out there about men putting women in the friend zone, I found out that the main reason men "friend zone" women is apparently because they don't find them attractive. The stereotype is men care the most about looks and women care the most about confidence.
I think I'm cute, but I recognize that I don't fit the magazine images of women. Well, I don't know any woman who looks like a supermodel, but I certainly am not as "girly" as some of my friends. I don't wear heels or makeup often. I don't have long hair. I usually dress modestly. I'm a bit of a "girl next door" type. So I began to wonder if I'm too much "cute" and not enough "sexy."
Well most of the resources were kind of inane and many were so unfeminist. Actually, a lot of the suggestions for "how to attract guys" I already knew. My inner feminist is not cool about the idea of sexing myself up just to catch a man. However, there was one suggestion I liked, and I actually found this out back in 7th grade but never jumped on this truth. Not surprisingly, I was not a "catch" in junior high. Who wants a goody-goody nerd that doesn't put out? Well on the day of our field trip to an opera, I decided to wear a red velour dress. It wasn't exceptionally revealing, but you could see my legs from the knees down and it was red. I got many compliments that day from junior high boys. I couldn't believe dorky me was getting male attention!
More than ten years later, I'm googling "how to attract guys" and what keeps popping up? "Wear red." I took a peek at my wardrobe and realized that I have very little red. So I went on a bit of a spree this weekend looking for red clothes (specifically deep reds and burgundy).
Now, I'm not convinced that suddenly I'll have men falling at my feet and asking for my number if I dress in red. However, I will say that when I tried on a red dress, I felt sexier. When I gazed upon myself in a fancy red dress, I said, "Damn!" I held my head (and chest) a little higher.
Maybe it's the attitude is most important anyway. I bought a casual red dress and a fancy one as well as a red blouse. In them, I wanted to flirt. I felt womanly. Maybe that's what really will make all the difference.