Monday, January 25, 2010

Saying good bye for good

A wise woman (Madea) once said that some people are meant to be in your life for a lifetime and some only for a season. FYI, most people you encounter in your life are "seasonal" people. They are meant to stay just for a little while and teach you some sort of lesson.

A man who proved to be a seasonal person tried to come back into my life.

In August 2009, when I first started my online dating escapades, the first man I talked to consistently was "Derrick." We were really clicking and connecting at first. In hind sight, I realize that all my excitement about Derrick was only because he was the first gentlemanly man I talked to online. Anyway, I was eager to meet him at first, but he was less available than even me. The IM's dragged on for a couple weeks. Over time, however, I grew less interested in him romantically for various reasons, and I became less eager to meet him. He was more interested in me than I was with him. Before our date, I used my childfreedom as a sort of "get out of jail free" card. I asked if he wanted kids someday (it wasn't clear in his profile). When he said "yes," I told him I could only be friends with a man who wanted kids. It wasn't possible to be more than friends.

The daily IM's stopped instantly. In fact, the next day, when I logged on, he logged off right away. It could have been coincidence, but I assumed that it was deliberate. I took him off my "favorites" list. It hurt for a minute that he could be so cold toward me so abruptly, but I really wasn't interested in even being friends with him anymore.

Flash forward to January 2010, and who should IM me? Derrick. Four months of no communication from him whatsoever, and he says, "Hey hey." Thankfully, I was at work and about to start working for real, so I told him I was busy, etc, and logged off. Later on, I logged back in and blocked him.

Some might say my move was harsh. However, after four months of no communication, I assumed he wasn't interested in being "just friends," especially since he was so cold and bitter in our last contact. Either way, it's not a good sign. He's so bad with rejection that it takes him four months to resume talking to someone who friend zones him? Had he tried with someone else, failed, and therefore tried to talk to me again, like a backup plan? I've done a great deal in just four months. I don't need any more needy people in my life. I don't need anyone that emotionally troubled in my circle.

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