Matchmaking scam?

Uh oh.

OK, if you use eLove, definitely do not take price at face value. There is no reason to pay more than you have to for this.

I did some perusing online, which I should have done before going to the interview (lesson learned). I googled matchmaking scams as well as e Love. Many of the matchmaking scams are pretty obvious. Russian bride scams, scams from small mom and pop organizations, matchmaking services that cost upwards of $100,000.

In terms of eLove, it seems to be a mixed bag. They were one of the top three rated companies at the Internet Dating & Matchmaking Conference. Also, upon looking it up at bbb.org, it's listed as a Better Business Bureau accredited business under its old name, The Right One.

But upon looking up The Right One on Ripoff Report, it is not without complaints. Many of the complaints are a few years old, though, and only one is for the office in my state. I guess the fact that the company has changed it's name over the years is a cause of concern, but it has bought out other companies. So that might be the reason for the name changes, not because they had so many complaints and therefore were changing their business name to cover their ass.

When I read the complaints though, many expressed disappointment at the matches. One man said the women were ugly.

Now I understand that if you give negative feedback about a date and the company sends you another match with the same qualities, you should complain. The woman I spoke to told me to be picky so they could pinpoint what I want. So if they don't take my feedback into account, then yes they have violated the agreement. One person said the match had a criminal record which is definitely grounds for complaint because eLove claims to do background checks.

But complaining because they gave you "ugly" people? You just didn't like the matches? Well, that's a risk you take with any matchmaking service. They can't guarantee chemistry.

But the potential loss is greater with a traditional maker.

I'll be explicit: they're charging me about $2000, which I'm paying off over the course of 24 months. So it comes out to about $70 a month. Hey, there are matchmaking services that cost over $10,000 and they originally were going to charge me $5000 to join. When I told her what I could afford per month, she was able to knock off more than half the price. True, there's a chance that they won't find me anyone within their pool, but that's a risk I'm taking. So I can't really be mad at them if nothing comes of it, as long as they're doing everything they claimed they would do on their end.

The company has 1000's of members and a few dozen complaints (many of the older ones listed on bbb.org were resolved, by the way). Any company is going to make mistakes now and then, and it's clear that certain offices are more guilty than others. As I said, my office only had one complaint. I have to give the benefit of the doubt that the majority of members are satisfied. I also found a story where they took on people who were rejected by beautifulpeople.com. Also, Online Dating Insider visited in November and said nothing along the lines of the complaints on Ripoff Report.

So if it's ok'ed by the Better Business Bureau, if other people in the matchmaking biz are taking it seriously, I guess I can calm down. And anyway, if they try to take away more money from me past the 24 months, I have another checking account I can transfer all my money to so they can't get me (until I can get them out of my hair).

It's gotta be legit. But I'll keep a critical eye open.

Why am I still single?...

Every now and then I revisit this question, "Why am I single?" in an attempt to be honest with myself and try to logically analyze something that's emotional. How can you rationalize feelings or attraction?

I identified several reasons why I was single prior to online dating and then after beginning this journey. Today, though, I re-realized something else about myself that could be a hindrance.

Something nearly disastrous happened at work today. I won't go into details, but to give something a little concrete, I took charge of a project of sorts. I wasn't the only leader, but I really was the main one. Due to miscommunication, a big mistake happened. I rightfully assumed everything was okay and that the worst didn't happen. However, because I was in charge, I felt like the near-catastrophe was my fault. If the worst had happened, I could have lost my job. Also, the miscommunication could have been avoided had I taken certain preventative measures, which I forgot to take in all the hustle and bustle of the day. After four years in this sort of job, I felt like I should have known better, but made rookie mistakes. I just hope word of this doesn't get to the new boss (we had a regime change at work recently), as everything was supposedly settled with all parties involved. I did apologize to those most affected by my error. I just don't want the first thing the new boss hears about me to be something like this, when typically, I'm very organized, thoughtful and conscientious.

As you may have noticed, when something bad happens to me or people under my "watch," I blame myself. I have this tendency to take on too much responsibility for bad things that happen in my life. "X happened because I don't have control." "It's my fault that Y happened." "If Mr. B had been in charge instead of me, Q wouldn't have happened." "Z because happened because I didn't do X and Y." Then I start ruminating and ruminating. However, I've found ways to process and release the ruminations in my introverted way. After leaving work and running some errands, I have a clearer head now and can reflect in a more forgiving way on my actions today.

Nevertheless, this "it's my fault" mentality, my tendency to take things personally, leaks into my reflections about why I'm single. I too often think, "I'm single because of something I'M doing wrong." "I'm not trying hard enough." "I'm not putting myself out there." "I'm not making myself look attractive." "I'm not willing to put out." It's a classic scenario of brain vs. emotion for me. In my brain, I know that the reason I'm perpetually single might not have much to do with me at all. Maybe I just haven't met the right man. Or, to put it in a religious context, maybe God does have a man for me, but we're not ready to meet yet. But then my emotions, I guess, kick in, and I start thinking my singledom is all my fault.

It's something I need to work on, this taking things too personally. This could be a real problem should I get into a long-term relationship. I just hope my INTJ tendencies keep me in the logic zone, and that I maintain an ability to look at things objectively.

All Men are Dogs?-"Fall madly, passionately in love with yourself"

Early in my attempts at online dating, I listened to this on a friend's facebook profile. Very inspirational, and I need to hear it lately.