What are good vibrators for virgins?

So I finally have been playing around with my "Stats" tag on blogger. I discovered that quite a bit of you have been visiting my post regarding whether or not a vibrator can de-flower you. Well, if that's what the public wants...

FYI I did also blog about lessons I've learned from the toy, in case you're interested. But I also wanted to share some of the tips I learned about buying a vibrator.

Firstly, you can buy the toys at adult toy shops or online. Online will often have a bigger selection, but I wanted to go in person because I wanted one IMMEDIATELY. My mailbox also isn't secure, and I certainly did not want the package mailed to my mother!

If you're comfortable, you can also ask the salespeople questions, like "How should I clean this?" They won't care how kinky your questions are. Seriously. Look where they work...

Especially if you're a virgin, be conservative with the size you choose for your first toy. Don't get a rabbit, no matter how cool it looks. It'll probably hurt!

For virgins and other vibe beginners, rule of thumb, or maybe rule of fingers, is that whatever vibrator you get should be about the same width as your middle and index finger put together. Kinda like a fat tampon.

"Bullet" type vibrators are usually a good choice for virgins. An adjustable speed is very nice too. If you plan to play in the tub, waterproof ones are available too.

With lubricant, water-based is usually the best option for most materials. Yes, you will need lube. For real. If you aren't sure which to get, ask a salesperson.

Those tips seemed to work well for me, though now I think I am ready to "upgrade..."

Do you have any other tips for toys? Any recommendations? Feel free to share here or tweet me @flamencokitty.

Image: Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Lessons learned from the toy

In lieu of having a real guy to play with, I ventured to an adult toy store a couple months ago for my own un-birthday gift. Now, I do hear that playing with a toy is not the same as playing with a man. Playtime with a toy, no matter how satisfying, cannot substitute 100% the experience with a guy.

Well actually, I take that back. Word on the street is that sometimes playtime with a toy can be more satisfying than playtime with a man…

Anyway, I figured a toy can still help me learn what I like, help loosen things up before I play with a real man (per the recommendation of a toy website I visited, I bought a toy that is about the width of two of my fingers) and satisfy urges enough for the time being. During our relationship, I have learned some things which I think will apply when…ok if, I actually play with a real man.

1) If you are not relaxed, nothing is going in. Or if it does squeeze in without relaxation, it hurts!
2) Lube helps, particularly when one has not sufficiently “warmed up.”
3) But too much lube means little-to-no-feeling...
4) Your mind should be relaxed and all Zen-like. Just let go and go with the flow.
5) Experiment (with intensity, speed, position).
6) Experiment with different times of day. Forget caffeine to jumpstart the morning!
7) Breathe.
8) Wash.
9) Experiment with the environment (music, no music, some light, no light).
10) Move with the music!
11) See what room temperature works. For me, I usually need to turn off the space heater, just like when I do other exercise. Go figure.
12) The exception to number 4: fantasize that someone (else?) is with you…

Why would a virgin need lube?

Because I've been having issues with the girly bits lately.

I'll try not to be too specific (though any women reading this might figure out what it is anyway). What's strange about the issue is that, upon googling it, I discovered that it is typical of menopausal women, as lack of estrogen causes it. However, I'm not menopausal. For other women, causes of the issue include childbirth, sex without adequate foreplay, new detergent, and stress. I figured it must be stress as I was stressed out last month. I had the issue during my PMS week last month but now again during PMS week this month. Could it be hormonal? Is it an infection? I got some feminine wipes last month, but those didn't really help.

You're probably thinking, “Just go to the gyno, flamencokitty.” You're right, but here's the thing. Firstly, I don't know when I'll have time this week. If the pattern from last month continues, the issue will go away before I make it to the doctor. Secondly, upon further reading about my issue, it sounds like all I might need is...lubricant. I don't have any of the other related symptoms. I don't want to panic and run to the doctor when I don't need a prescription.

So today, I returned to the girly-bit-medicine shelf. Now, I strive for all-natural and animal byproduct-free ingredients when I'm in the health aisle. What bugs me about the feminine products, though, is most of the medicine, cleansers, creams, douches etcetera are loaded with ingredients I can't pronounce. They also have parabens, animal-based Vitamin D, and other things I try to avoid. I am not concerned if I, one time, put parabens or whatever on my arms or legs (like in lotion), but I don't want to rub these chemicals all over the girly area! Plus, the wipes I got last month had all that mess and still didn't help.

In addition to the annoyance with all the un-hippie chemicals, I did feel a little uncomfortable looking for a lubricant. Yes, I'm an adult. Yes, most adults are sexually active. Yes, the cashiers don't care what I buy. Still, it was weird. I'm a virgin and still need these things for the girly area, though the main purpose of the lube is to “enhance sexual pleasure!”

Fortunately, the only products that had “all natural,” paraben-free ingredients were the lubricants. It actually is helping more than the wipes. Plus, I don't have to worry about using it only a few times a day or week. I can use it as needed. Don't worry, if the issue arises again next month, I will go to the gyno.

My nosy mother is coming by to the visit next week. I just hope she doesn't go poking around my bathroom cabinets! She will confront me if she finds the lube.