Saturday, November 20, 2010

Why would a virgin need lube?

Because I've been having issues with the girly bits lately.

I'll try not to be too specific (though any women reading this might figure out what it is anyway). What's strange about the issue is that, upon googling it, I discovered that it is typical of menopausal women, as lack of estrogen causes it. However, I'm not menopausal. For other women, causes of the issue include childbirth, sex without adequate foreplay, new detergent, and stress. I figured it must be stress as I was stressed out last month. I had the issue during my PMS week last month but now again during PMS week this month. Could it be hormonal? Is it an infection? I got some feminine wipes last month, but those didn't really help.

You're probably thinking, “Just go to the gyno, flamencokitty.” You're right, but here's the thing. Firstly, I don't know when I'll have time this week. If the pattern from last month continues, the issue will go away before I make it to the doctor. Secondly, upon further reading about my issue, it sounds like all I might need is...lubricant. I don't have any of the other related symptoms. I don't want to panic and run to the doctor when I don't need a prescription.

So today, I returned to the girly-bit-medicine shelf. Now, I strive for all-natural and animal byproduct-free ingredients when I'm in the health aisle. What bugs me about the feminine products, though, is most of the medicine, cleansers, creams, douches etcetera are loaded with ingredients I can't pronounce. They also have parabens, animal-based Vitamin D, and other things I try to avoid. I am not concerned if I, one time, put parabens or whatever on my arms or legs (like in lotion), but I don't want to rub these chemicals all over the girly area! Plus, the wipes I got last month had all that mess and still didn't help.

In addition to the annoyance with all the un-hippie chemicals, I did feel a little uncomfortable looking for a lubricant. Yes, I'm an adult. Yes, most adults are sexually active. Yes, the cashiers don't care what I buy. Still, it was weird. I'm a virgin and still need these things for the girly area, though the main purpose of the lube is to “enhance sexual pleasure!”

Fortunately, the only products that had “all natural,” paraben-free ingredients were the lubricants. It actually is helping more than the wipes. Plus, I don't have to worry about using it only a few times a day or week. I can use it as needed. Don't worry, if the issue arises again next month, I will go to the gyno.

My nosy mother is coming by to the visit next week. I just hope she doesn't go poking around my bathroom cabinets! She will confront me if she finds the lube.

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