Saturday, November 13, 2010

Do you regret being single and a virgin?

Not when I listen to the radio.

En route to work, I switch between the Steve Harvey Morning Show and some local pop radio stations. Every morning, with rare exceptions, the radio shows talk about relationships. The pop radio stations in particular, talk about sex (while Steve Harvey's Strawberry Letters tend to focus more on long term relationships…well, usually one party thinks it's long term while the other thinks it's a fling). When people call and discuss their love, sex, or other relationship issues, I don't think I'm missing much.

“I slept with a married man and got pregnant but he doesn't want to leave his wife for me.”

“I had a great date with this woman but when I tried to call her, she never returns my calls and I don't know what I did wrong.”

“Should I stay in school or go move in overseas with my long distance boyfriend?”

“I was married to a man for 15 years and had two kids with him and he cheated on me.”

“My man's in jail, but he says he's a changed man, and when he gets out he still wants to be together and we have a kid together but I don't know if I should get back with him.”

“I found out my girlfriend has had several dozen sex partners and now I don't know if I want to be with her anymore.”

“I'm a woman and my man won't marry me until I have sex with my best girl friend, and he wants to video it.”

“I don't want to be friends with benefits any more. I want a real relationship with him.”

“I think my boyfriend sexually assaulted my son. I don't know what to do.”

And on and on and on.

Frankly, the drama frightens me. There's a lot of drama out there too. A lot. Some I could never imagine. I'd like to think I'm smart enough and wise enough and have set my standards high enough to avoid the most dramatic drama, but who knows? Who's to say I wouldn't end up in such messes? In some of these situations, the solution of “break up with him/her” seems obvious to me, but I'm an outsider. Do I really understand what's at stake if the couples break up?

I'm hoping that because I am older and my pool of men is older, my future partner and I will be mature and wise enough to not end up like some of the people on the radio. If we do break up, hopefully it won't be as messy, as traumatic as some of these other couples. Breakups are seldom smooth and easy, but if I choose right, at least authorities will not be involved.

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