Yes, well, Amy and I do anyway.
This Sweetest Day weekend, I spent one day with my girl, Amy, shopping. Amy is my fellow "virgin until marriage" friend. We walked into Victoria's Secret and neither one of us found what we wanted. While she tried on her unmentionables, though, I looked around at all the sexy duds and reflected. I've been to Victoria's Secret before and have bought bras and panties from there, yet I still feel out of place, like the store is not for me. I know the associates couldn't care less if I "belonged" there or not, if I was a virgin or not, if I was single or not. They just want me to buy crap. Yet my inner, egocentric teenager thought, "Everyone knows I'm a virgin and thinks I shouldn't be here!" Still, I continue to be amazed at all the different ways women can move, shift and tuck their flesh using the goodies at VS: "Can my girls really look like that?" "Could I get away with ruffles on my panties?"
Apparently Amy was thinking some of the same thoughts I was, because upon leaving, she said something along the lines of, "Too bad we aren't going on a honeymoon." I replied, "I know. What's the point of buying lacy, sequined, sexy bras when no one's gonna see it but me?" She said, "It's not gonna stay on very long anyway on your honeymoon!" I agreed, and said that the hubby probably couldn't care less if it all matched.
I admit, I do have one matching lace panty-bra set and some other cute, colored lingerie. This was per the suggestion of a college friend. Even though no one sees the duds, it does help you feel feminine, especially in winter. Underneath my layers of sweaters, cardigans and long johns, I wear lace to remind myself that I'm still female! I do walk with a little more "style" I guess, when I wear girly drawers instead of granny panties.
Still, it would be nice if someone besides me saw the cuteness.
And during my conversation, I might have admitted more than I wanted to admit, though perhaps Amy didn't notice. We discussed our dating woes and how it sometimes sucks not having a boyfriend. I said that I recognize that being single isn't a bad thing and that I have a good life. But it would be nice to share that life with someone, and just once, not sleep alone.
Be aware that I have said multiple times to her that I will NOT have sex before marriage. I said that I refuse, and if I do, the world is coming to an end! Now, though, as I continue to re-examine my stance, I'm starting to think that unless Amy marries first, she won't be the first of us to be deflowered. :/ When I consider whether or not to wait, sometimes it seems so silly to wait. So naive. So limiting. So backward. It made sense as a teenager, but now that I'm in my late twenties, I can't help but question my stance.
But it's hard to know what choice I would make because I've never had to say, "yes" or "no." I've never even been kissed!
Perhaps one day I will go into VS and buy something besides basic black or white, or perfume. Maybe one day I will walk in with a man and ask him which set he thinks would be sexier on me. And perhaps he will whisper the right response, "I don't care which you wear. It ain't staying on..."