Sunday, March 21, 2010

Passive Agressive Brides and Jerseylicious

My entry refers to the segment below starting at 1:27.

Recently, while sitting in the waiting room at Jiffy Lube, I found myself watching Tyra's talk show. Don't hate! I do like Tyra, though I never watch her show. Anyway, on this episode, she talked to the cast of "Jerseylicious" and included questions from the audience. One young woman talked about how, as a perpetual bridesmaid, she always has to wear hideous bridesmaid dresses, and how she's sick of it. Alexa told the young woman to basically "tailor" the dress to make herself look hot. She also said that brides who submit their bridesmaids to ugly dresses are being passive aggressive, so it's alright to be passive aggressive right back to them.

I've only been to two weddings and I've never been a bridesmaid, so I don't know how accurate Alexa's point of view is. Are brides really so obsessed with being pretty that they don't want their maids to look pretty? However, it seems to make some sense. At both weddings I attended, the dresses did not look like dresses the maids could wear again, though one wedding had prettier dresses than the other. One wedding had matronly bridesmaid dresses. The outfit was a brown skirt with a white lacy top that did nothing for their figures. So in a way, I applaud Alexa's "eff you, bride" response of fixing the unflattering dress so that you look hot too.

Now, I understand that every bride wants to feel beautiful on her wedding day. She wants to wear the prettiest, most flattering dress she ever wore. She wants everyone to turn their heads when she passes. Every woman has the right to look and feel fabulous on her wedding day.

That shouldn't be at the expense, though, of her maids, who most likely are her dearest friends and family. She should feel secure enough in herself that she needn't worry about any of her maids "outdoing" her. It's a sacrament, not a beauty pageant. The maids have the right to feel beautiful too.

It made me reflect on what I would do if I ever got married. The blog, Offbeat Bride, has inspired me to go against the grain should I decide to marry. Why do all the bridesmaids need to wear the same dress anyway? Every person's body is different. I would be so pissed if my friend asked me to be a bridesmaid and then had me buy a dress with a color that flushed out my skin and a cut that was tight in all the wrong places. I hope that if I ever marry, I'll say to my bridesmaids, "buy whatever formal dress you want, just make sure it's color A or color B," depending on what my wedding colors are. I understand you might want some unity among the bridesmaids for the sake of the pictures and whatnot. So maybe I'll give them the same bouquet. However, my point is I don't want my bridesmaids, who'll be my closest friends and family, to feel ugly at my expense, just to solidify my position as the prettiest woman in the wedding.

Although I'm not a fan of reality shows, particularly when they focus so much on outer beauty and divas, maybe I will check out Jerseylicious one day.

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