Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Spoke too soon


Previously, I said that I was glad that Steven hadn't called me back, that the disinterest was mutual. Well, see, I gave him my "online dating" email address. I use that address for all my correspondence with online dates and don't check it daily (sometimes just once a week). The other day, I discovered that he had emailed me a few times in the past week. It was mostly interesting or funny things he found online which he thought I would like as well. However, he also asked about hanging out again.

Ugh. I had to go through this in college. I suspected a friend was attracted to me, but I wanted to be friends only. So I treated him more coldly than my other friends so that he wouldn't think I liked him. It didn't work, by the way, and after two months, I told him directly that I wanted to remain friends.

It really isn't my nature to be cold and distant (despite my introversion). I really am a friendly person. So now, I'll be checking myself, making sure I do nothing that can misinterpreted as flirting: control the laughter, avoid body contact, A-hugs, withold compliments, block smiles, cross arms and legs (close the body language, in other words). I have to force myself to be less friendly. He's a nice guy, and I don't want to just blow him off or say, "I don't want to hang out with you because I don't have a crush on you." How rude! Hopefully, he just wants to stay friends too and I'm overreacting. After all, email is so impersonal, especially after we've already exchanged numbers. If he was smitten, he'd call, wouldn't he?

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