A lid for every pot

Alright. I've done it. I joined a matchmaking service.

The service is called elove. It's beaucoup bucks, but they negotiated with me. I'm not at liberty to discuss the agreement, but if you try it out, don't be turned off by the price.

I'm feeling really positive about it! They called me up for a phone interview last week and I went in for my face-to-face interview today. The woman was very genuine, friendly, professional and approachable. She's been matchmaking for 10 years too.

Their process really is fascinating. It's not computerized matchmaking a la eharmony. I did fill out two surveys, but mainly it was about the interview. It was nice to talk to someone about what I wanted in a possible long term relationship. She said that the matchmakers come together with the applicants and literally fight over who should match with who. I heard that RA's are chosen in a similar way. It must be fun living vicariously through their clients, playing matchmaker.

What was a confidence booster for me however, was her reaction when I told her I'd never been in a long term relationship. She said, "but you're so bubbly and friendly." It was nice to have someone who didn't analyze my lack of a boyfriend as due to something wrong with me. She also said I was cute and looked "different" in a good way, like men should be drawn to me when I enter a room. I know that might sound fishy, like she was just feeding me a line, but she really seemed impressed with me and sincere. It's hard to describe. Anyway, she understood the struggles I've been having and reassured me that my experience was normal, that there are lots of people in my boat.

Also, I was so grateful that they cut me a deal. She must have really sold me to her boss. She even said, "I don't want money to keep you from finding love." Again, I know that when you read that online, it might sound like she was just feeding me a line, but I think she really was sincere. My disappointment upon seeing the price must have choked her as it choked me. It was heartbreak, really. Just as I was feeling good that maybe I can be matched, that I'm not such an oddball, that someone can find me a quality man, that there is a lid for the pot that is me, I turned hopeless.

I usually don't feel dejected about my single status and don't become hopeless at the idea that there might be no match for me. However after the stressful two weeks, I've had, after the bad news I've received in the past 24 hours, this was just...I don't know. It was a Murphy's Law moment. "Even a matchmaker can't help me? I really do need to just get this dating stuff out my head."

But now, in 7-10 days, I can expect a call, just in time for my trip to Memphis next weekend :-P. Great. It's expensive, yes, more than eharmony or match.com or any online dating site. However, I think this investment will bring a better return than the money I've wasted on trial online dating memberships. It's clear that after 8 months of doing this on my own, I need help. Online dating just isn't yielding anything serious. I can't find quality men online for free.

Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match...

Three boys? Which to choose?

So after nothing (really) since January, I can potentially have 3 boys to choose from.

I still have an almost-crush on Mark from the Book Club. He's starting to smile and look at me more, which is better than bad, though still neutral. Whenever I speak at the Book Club, he's a captive listener and always responds to me...well okay he responds to everyone. Whenever he talks about a previous meeting, though, he looks at me, though I'm not the only member of the group who went to the previous meeting. Look at me! I'm acting like Anne in Persuasion. Any little gesture or movement makes me go, "Maybe he likes me!" He hasn't asked for my number, made small talk with me after a meeting or facebooked me. He has my first and last name, so if he wanted to track me down, it wouldn't be difficult. I guess he really isn't that into me.

Then there's Kyle, the boring guy from the virgin website. His contact is infrequent and his profile pic is a little unsettling. Not warm and smiley. Very cold and hard. However, he said he'll be in town soon and would like to meet up, and I just can't get the nerve to say, "Uh, I don't want to meet you anymore because you're boring and look kinda scary." I might do the trick of having someone give me an "emergency" call part way into the date. "Sorry Kyle. My best friend is having a boy problems big time. I can't get into details but I need to cut it short and give her a call back." Something like that. He's not on any social network, which makes cyber-stalking difficult. On my google search, I found him on some car forums, that's it. I just want to make sure he isn't a psycho.

Finally, I'm going to try out elove, a local matchmaking service. They called me one night for a phone consultation (I left my contact info at Speed Dating) and I was too tired to just hang up on them and say, "No thanks." However, it sounds like a really thorough company. I set up an appointment for a face-to-face interview, which is supposed to take about 90 minutes. Yeah, hardcore. They do background checks on everyone too. Well, if it's less than $100, I'll try out the service. They claim to have a good success rate. Considering I have made little progress online dating of late, it's worth a shot I suppose. My money might actually go somewhere, unlike the $30 each I wasted on eharmony and match.com.

Be careful what you wish for. I'm most excited about elove. Even if I don't go with the service, it'll be nice to just talk to a "Relationship Specialist" anyway.

matchmaker matchmaker...

This song has been in my head the past 24 hours. I've been a bit skeptical of all matchmaking services, casual or online, needless to say. Most resonant line: "Up to this minute I misunderstood that I could get stuck for good!"