Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Why I need to stop facebook-stalking

I facebook-stalk in an attempt to find out if the guy I'm crushing on is crushable. "Is he single?" "Is he straight?" Yes, I have this tendency to crush on guys who are gay, because I have a broken "gaydar."

But facebooking-stalking, lately, has been ruining the fun. It has abruptly stopped my crushing twice. Once I found out info on the guys, I said, "Oh, nevermind. We'll just be friends."

The most recent crush was a guy I met at a community center in my neighborhood three weeks ago. "Jack" is a cute guy. Short, curly black hair. Tan skin. Thick glasses. A few inches taller than me and a thin-to-average build. Super-friendly. And he busted out some Spanish at one point to some people who walked in. Bilingualism is definitely a turn-on for me sometimes. There were a few other volunteers at the center but he couldn't stop talking to me, asking me questions, smiling at everything I say.

I went back to the center over the weekend for a movie night. He actually remembered my name! :) We chatted for a bit before the movie started. After the movie, I ended up conversing with another guy and he ended up talking in another group.

I promptly proceeded to facebook-stalk that night. I only had his first name, but the movie night was posted as an event on facebook. I found him through that. Yes, I have some mad facebook-stalker skills.

Jack's profile was private! Boo. I usually don't friend people, especially people I just met. I let others friend me. But eh, why not? He remembered me, after all. I friended him and mentioned that I was at the movie night. To my delight, he accepted my friend request.

To my dismay, he is six years younger than me. He is also Atheist. Man. Now my crush is gone.

This is why I need to stop facebook-stalking cuties I meet "in real life." I have a rapport with a guy, then I discover incompatibility when I look him up. And it's not something unimportant to me, like music or movie tastes. It's something really important to me, like religion. And then I don't want to pursue him beyond friendship.

Of course when I return to the center for future events, I will gladly stop and have a conversation or two with him. But in the meantime, I guess it's back to okcupid.

Follow me on twitter @flamencokitty.

Image: Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

1 comment:

  1. I've read a couple of your postings and they are a breath of fresh air. As one of those traditional "black nerds" (yes, sci-fi-, computer-, history-loving, academically-oriented type)you spoke about on an earlier posting, I find that focusing on one's self and developing one's own potential to be the best you can be is all that matters. As someone once told me, "You have to be the person you want to attract" (yeah, great advice but not advice is universally applicable).