My flirt development reached a new milestone over the weekend!
My Flamenco teacher hosted a birthday party for one of my dancemates, “A.” I attended thinking it would be a small affair. Just some Flamenco sisters of mine.
However, as soon as I walk in the door, I find A fumbling around in the kitchenette as she chats with four, young, male friends of hers. My teacher is MIA.
Guys? There are guys here? I have walked into a sea of strangers!
Maybe “sea of strangers” is strong, but there were even more people I did not know in the backyard.
Now, a seasoned flirter rejoices at situations where she knows no one. Flirting opportunities, yay! Well, I still despise (and avoid) parties where I only know two people. Posses of young men intimidate me. I walked to the backyard, hoping to find my teacher.
Well, I fell into my habit of just sitting by the food and spent the first hour talking to other women. However, my peripherals noticed one of A’s cute guy friends (who I first saw inside) sitting a few feet to my right. Fair skin, medium-build, short black hair, glasses with plastic black frames, jeans that actually fit, a little peachfuzz on the face. My type, physically.
My peripherals also noticed, though, that every other time I spoke, Cutey looked my way. Wha? Not possible.
After chatting with the two ladies at the food table, I moved to another seat and conversed with another woman. I was then across from him (though six feet away), and again I noticed that nearly every time I said something, he looked at me, sometimes smiling or laughing. I thought, “Well, he is the one who is in a group. Let him come to me if he really wants to talk.” But honestly, I also thought it impossible that a guy as cute as him would be checking me out. I needed proof that he really was into me before I approached him.
After an engrossing conversation with my dance teacher (so engrossing that I stopped paying attention to Cutey), I headed inside to make a stovetop s'more. The two little kids at the party walked in and of course were intrigued by the s'more and asked me about it, but then pranced away. Next comes Cutey.
Cutey? Could he be following me? Ha! No way. Guys don't follow me! Anyway, he just asked where the paper towels were.
But were paper towels all he wanted?
A little more confident now (or perhaps just running away with my internal romance novel), I strolled back outside…to the food table. Cutey was standing there. I stood by Cutey and grabbed some bread. He reached over to grab wine. Someone said something funny. We both laughed. He was still standing just a foot away, body facing mine. I said something about the food. He smiled (or laughed, I don't remember).
“Should I say something? Is this an opportunity? I always miss opportunities. I am going to kick myself all night if I still do not talk to a guy even when he is checking me out. But maybe he isn't checking me out. Hey, he is still next to me…”
I reached out my hand and introduced myself. An hour-long conversation ensued, and I left the party about 90 minutes later than I originally planned.
Unbelievable! I achieved something I never thought I could achieve on a night that I had zero expectations of talking to any new guys. I broke the ice with a guy I met “in real life.”
This weekend, I picked up a Flirting Bible from Borders’ clearance section. According to this "bible," there were a few things I did wrong. I think I got a lot of the body language right, but now I need to learn what to actually say. Still, even though Cutey did not ask for my number, we carried on an extended conversation, and he invited me to sit with him as we moved back to his posse to talk. So I still consider that a HUGE step for me. I must have done something right. And anyway, one should not just flirt just for the ends, the number. Flirt for flirting's sake, right?
I may never meet Cutey again, but that night gave me some more confidence. Yes, there are guys who are my type and find me attractive. I must not hesitate to introduce myself when a cute guy is making it pretty clear that he wants to know me better…