Saturday, January 22, 2011

step 1-put yourself out there, step 2-TALK!

My New Year's Resolution is to "put myself out there." It has two parts: go to a bar by myself regularly (starting with once a month and gradually working toward 1x per week) and meet a new group of people every month. So far, I've met my goal for January. No date came out of it, but at least I started.

I went to a vegan meetup at a restaurant in my city. There were two big tables with some seats left. I sat at a table but didn't really pay attention to who was sitting there. Oops. As more people arrived, my table became the table where all the married and middle aged people sat. :/ All the young men were at the next table. The food was good and I did have good conversation...with two married women. Didn't succeed in the other part of the plan.

So that night, because the meetup ended early, I decided to go to a bar by myself. Apparently it was still a little too early in the night. I went to my favorite local bar, just a few blocks from my apartment. There weren't many people there and most of the people there were coupled. There was a group of decent-looking men a couple seats from mine at the bar. There was a mirror behind the bar and I looked in it, seeing if any of the men were looking my way. Nope. But at one point, the men talked about going to some other bar to pick up chicks. Perhaps we weren't compatible after all.

So I've succeeded in putting myself "out there," but clearly that's not really enough. I might have to actually talk to someone. A novel idea! But in my defense, no way I'm going to go up to a guy who is surrounded by a posse of four of his friends! The person who is in a group should go to the one who is alone. I'm willing now to approach a cute guy looking my way if he's alone and I'm with a friend or two. I don't expect a man to come talk to me when I'm surrounded by my posse. It's like a tribunal of girls.

Next month, the plan is to actually go where the young men are, and possibly go a little later in the night to encounter single guys at a bar.


  1. wow that's brave of you to decide you will go to a bar by yourself. all the best in your new year resolutions :)

  2. Definitely brave for you to go on your own.
    I've wanted to do stuff alone (I got the inspiration from but I wanted to start small and go to Ikea or something first. Bars are so intimidating.

  3. It really wasn't bad at all. It was per the advice of "Why Mr. Right Can't Find You." But again, I went early in the night. I didn't go to a meat-market bar. So it wasn't swarms of boys with fake ID's trying to pick up chicks. There's a chichi, raw, vegan, moderately priced restaurant with a bar near me. I think I'll go there next ...